Half-Truths and Other Lies

I found this post awhile ago and I thought it would be fun and insightful for my readers if I were to address some of these commonly held beliefs about Boulderites:

• Your diet consists largely [of] Boca burgers, Silk Soymilk sushi, and Celestial Seasonings tea.

I am guilty of the occasional Boca burger but I like regular ol' hamburgers, too. Soy milk is a must but even more of a must-have is organic milk. Celestial Seasonings tea is probably the least imbibed tea around here if only because the plant is about five miles away. More often we're drinking Tazo or Republic of Tea. Green, of course.


• You understand the utility of burning a couch in the street.

Of course. How else are we to express our emotions when our beloved football team loses. Or wins.


• Your kids wear 'Baby Gap' clothes.

Well, only when I worked at Baby Gap. Okay, and for awhile after that, too. Try Hemp clothes or the latest fashions from Rocky Mountain Kids. We've got lots of indie brands around here. Homemade is also a fav.


• You really believe that there is a war between Boulder High and Fairview.

You mean there isn't? (My kid is so going to Fairview)


• You shop at Alfalfa's, and think that it's [g]uilty eating.

No guilt involved. Wild Oats and Whole Foods are always packed to the gills with people stocking up on sushi, organic milk and trail mix.


• You wear shorts in the winter.

So do people in the southeast U.S. but no one's giving them a hard time.


• Riding your bike in the middle of the street is okay.

How else are we supposed to get to the Wild Oats?! Look Twice and Save a Life is the Boulder biker's mantra.


• You had a hour long coversation about the Ramseys, and your sure you know who "did it."

I really try to not talk about the Ramseys because it is a tragic event and they deserve their privacy. I have never consciously sought out their house in the ten years that I have lived here. It's not a tourist attraction. A little girl - someone's daughter - was murdered. I think people often lose sight of that.

Susannah Chase was also murdered the following year but her story commands very little attention. Her killer is still at large.


• Your hybrid car is stocked with Ani Difranco and Indigo Girls CD's.

Another misconception. We all drive Subaru's around here. We are Subaru's leading market for Outback sales. And my Outback has all the tunes my iPod can carry - including some Indigo Girls.


• A member of your family either works or plays for C.U.

Nope. But, I am an alumni.


• Sandals are worn year around, regardless of temperature.

Or precipitation. I love my flops!


• You have either been, or sent your child to an alternative school, (ie. New Vista), because the other schools didn't challenge you/them enough.

Lizzie attended both Montessori school and a Math & Science Focus School.


• Your waiter has a PhD in philosophy, and a MA in Women's Studies

And all the parents have law degrees, medical degrees or some other higher degree (M.A. or Ph.D) and own their own businesses. Sad, but true. We are a bunch of educated, Type A parents in this town.


• You rather starve than eat something that isn't organic

Um..I like food waaay too much to declare something stupid like this. Although there are girls in Boulder who look like they starve themselves, I don't think it's because of a lack of organic foods


• You understand that "8 glasses of water a day" is what is required before 10:00 a.m.

Water? Green Tea? Jumbo Smoothie? Whatever you choose - just get your fluids.


• Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.

I have an excellent sense of direction when I have mountains to guide me (the mountains are West) but I get really lost out on the plains. KC is the worst - flat as far as the eye can see. I have absolutely no idea which end is up when I'm visiting the in-laws.


• Your friends don't eat meat, but they guzzle microbrew and designer coffee like it's water.

Mostly true. We have a plethora of microbrews to choose from around here but my vegan friends love their mulled wines, green tea and Mocha Frappuccinos.


• In any given line you can see a white person with dreadlocks who is barefoot and the next person is wearing Prada, Chanel sunglasses, a Rolex and is dripping in diamonds.

Yeah, it's a strange dichotomy but it works. Just for the record: dreadlocked white people scare me. I always think something nasty is going to crawl out of their hair and onto me. And, why would you do that to your hair when you can have hair like this?


• You're invited to a Halloween party only to find out "party" means serving peanut-pumpkin soup and sitting around reading Edger Allen Poe.

The parties to which I got invited usually included copious amounts of alcohol, Ecstasy and Mary Jane. Oh, and a burning couch. Just because we have the most bookstores per capita, doesn't mean we spend all our time reading in this town. Sometimes, it's all about the wi-fi and having a good time.

Check back next week for part two of this post where I will continue to enlighten and dazzle you with my knowledge of all things Boulder.