Friday, December 28, 2007

Notes from Christmas Past

My mother-in-law is blessedly back in her own home today. Truly, her visit wasn't that bad. It was certainly better than that time I was hit by a car and slightly better than those other three times when I pushed an eight pound human through a ten centimeter opening. Childbirth is a close second to her visit only because of the mind altering drugs. Sadly, my personal supply was low but a Christmas elf remedied that situation. However, Madhubby insisted that partaking with a house guest - especially this particular house guest - was most unwise so I endured her entire visit totally sober. Well, mostly.

As you well know, I had hoped to spend the holidays skiing but any mention of skiing, however slight, was met with a disapproving "It's so expensive." I, in turn, would roll my eyes at Madhubby and make another trip to the bathroom. I was sulky and petulant the entire time she was here because I really didn't want her to be here. I even refused to play the new, fancy Scrabble Deluxe game she bought us for Christmas; I was just so pissed at him for allowing her to ruin my holiday plans. Eventually, though, I think he saw things my way.

Scene: Christmas morning - Master Bedroom
MH: You know, I think we've got time for a little....(boob squeeze)
Me: Uh, I don't think so. Your mom is probably awake.
MH: I doubt it. (Bubba starts to cry)
Me: I'll be right back(2 seconds later)
Me: She's sitting on the couch in the living room reading. I thought you said she was asleep?
MH: She wasn't there five minutes ago.
Me: Well, she's there now. I guess she's stealth mom. Good thing we didn't....
MH: (sarcastically) Yeah, good thing.
Me: Well, if she stayed at her own house we could have Christmas morning sex.
(MH thinking)
MH: Hmmm...that's a good point. You know what?
Me: What?
MH: I think next year she should stay in a hotel.

Um, not quite the response I was hoping for but it's a start. Luckily, I've got some sexy new underwear and twelve months to totally convert him.

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