Come Back, Kitty Cat

If you have a cute cat who is prone to escaping DO NOT MOVE TO MY NEIGHBORHOOD. The basest, most deceitful cat thieves live here and they will tell your tearful six-year-old daughter that they have not seen her kitty, Cloud, all the while surreptitiously leaving cans of tuna on their front porch to lure Cloud into their den.

Cat thieves have stolen our cat not once, but twice. Twice! What completely amoral a-holes I have living down the street from me. The first time we heard Cloud meowing from someone's backyard as we patrolled the street, screaming his name. Those neighbors were merely "providing him a warm place to stay." I call bullshit.

This time, we received a call from a local vet when our microchip number came up during a vet check. It seems these latest cat thieves had the good sense to take Cloud for a little check-up prior to "adopting" him. Yeah, you can't exactly "adopt" a cat that's not homeless. We made sure they got a good look at Olie's little face when they returned Cloud. And that $25 bill they ran up at the vet's office? I hope they choke on it.