Wanted: Guest Bloggers

I've been out of the law school game for a while and my stories about juggling law school with parenthood are stale. I want fresh content from you, the law student parents who are still in the trenches. Yes, this blog is called Diary of a Law School Mom, but I've got nothing against dads. If you're interested in being a guest blogger, email me and we'll work it out.

Haiku #12

Four twenty-seven
Four inches of fluffy snow
Where is my spring sun?

Fresh Perspective

I have been blogging away in this space for three years now. Week after week, it's the same old me - my complaints, my stuff, and my life. Today, it occurred to me: You might be ready for a change of pace, so next week I will have a guest blogger.

There may only be one post from a guest blogger, or there may be a few posts from a several different people, but the point is, the posts won't be written in my voice. It will be someone else offering a different, exciting, and fresh perspective on the law school/family imbalance; a breath of fresh air, if you will.

Basically, I'm taking a little bit of a break. I've got some pressing assignments that require my full attention, but I care about you, reader, and I know how important it is to have new blog posts to read when you're supposed to be working. Screw work, it's all about hitting ctrl +r and SuperPoking on Facebook.

I've got your back, which is why I am making sure you get your daily dose of Lawschoolmom. Only, it will be bizarro lawschoolmom/dad and the dose might not be daily, but you know what I mean: new content from a new writer coming to a blog reader near you. You dig it?

If you are interested in guest posting, e-mail me and we can work it out.

Thank You

The voting period for your favorite ABA Top 100 Blawgs has ended. Thank you to everyone who voted for me.

Go Forth and Be Awesome

I do not make New Year Resolutions. I don't see the point. If I want to lose ten pounds or learn a new language, I don't need to wait until January 1st to make that commitment. I can make a resolution every day not just once per year. How cool is that?!

But last new year, January 1, 2008, there were some things I resolved to do:

• Graduate from law school
• Like the cat
  
• Move house

None of these worked out for me. I didn't graduate from law school. Otherwise, this blog would have a different title like Diary of an Unemployed Law Mom or something equally catchy and appropriate.

I love the cat now that he and his shitbox no longer live in my house. Cats are a waste of space. Don't bother e-mailing me about the emotional and physical benefits cats provide because it does not matter to me. See, I don't have a cat anymore so I really don't care. Okay, even when I had a cat, I didn't care.

I am sure his new owners are not germophobes like me who, when the cat is laying there all furry and curled up on the sofa, can only think about the minuscule pieces of cat litter and cat poo trapped between its furry little paws. And crazy cat lovers everywhere let their cats onto their kitchen counter tops while they are preparing food that people are going to eat. That's just nasty.

And, moving? Yeah ... that didn't exactly work out either because moving is hard and I'm lazy. Just the thought of packing our family's personal belongings into individually labelled boxes - kitchen, master bedroom, laundry room - gives me hives. I actually have hives right now.

So, no 2009 resolutions. Wait ... there is one resolution I can make. In 2009: I vow to live my multifaceted and chaotic life to the fullest. You should too. Cheers!

A Friendly Reminder

Love Music but Hate Cancer?

Yeah, me too. So when I heard about Shirts for a Cure I was all over it. The shirts are only $12 and 100% of the proceeds go to underprivileged women who cannot afford expensive breast cancer medicine and therapy.

I bought myself a Rise Against tee and a DragonForce one for my guy because we rock and cancer sucks.

Wow

My blog was named one of the top law student blogs in the 2008 ABA Journal Blawg 100. I am amazed my little blog made it in, but I am also deeply honored that I was included.

There are several other blogs in the law student category and we are all vying for votes. You know you want to vote for me. Simply click the link below, or the link in my sidebar, to go directly to ABA Journal's site and vote for my blog because it's the best. Just kidding (sort of). But do vote for Kelly because she is wicked smart and knows stuff about the tax code that I will never ever know in this lifetime or even in my worst law school nightmare.

When the only choice is Jim Beam and Pliers

I didn't have my first dental visit until I was ten years old. I only remember it because my dentist was really nice and that first visit led to a string of visits that culminated with a root canal which, given my candy obsession, was probably inevitable.

Avoiding the dentist wasn't a conscious choice or even the result of some wacky parental belief; we had no dental insurance until my mom took a mail clerk job, making minimum wage, at a health care company. Only then did the doors of dental offices open for us.

But my life is different. My girls have been getting twice yearly dental checkups since they were three years old. We go in, they get a cleaning, some cherry fluoride rinse, a bag of toys, and we're out of there. The whole visit is covered by our dental insurance carrier. Since the girls have never had any cavities, I have been completely and blissfully unaware as to how much our dental insurance sucks.

Olie recently had two teeth pulled for which we were charged $306! Our insurance paid a whopping $123 and I paid the remaining $186; paying that bill was more painful than Olie's extractions. Believe me, I was in the room with her and the nitrous oxide and Novocaine was laid on so thick that I was high. We have another visit scheduled, to pull two more teeth, in two weeks - another $186 is due then too. Then, Lizzie has oral surgery next month for which our out-of-pocket portion is $513. And I need some dental work too: another $664.

Madhubby is employed with a large company that provides us with a good low deductible benefits package, but our out-of-pocket costs for certain services can be costly.

I don't think universal health care is the answer because I believe overall health care quality would decrease; everyone would have universally mediocre health care. Right now, we could switch to a different dentist, one that isn't so specialized; the entire practice is strictly pediatric. Our costs would likely decrease because different dentists charge different rates but I think you get what you pay for and I like to think we're paying for quality and expertise.

But what about those other families whose purse strings are tighter or those families that have high deductibles? How can they get the care their families need without breaking the bank? I don't have any answers. I'm no political pundit, though I play at being one from time to time, but I think surely there must be a better way; I just don't know what that better way is. For now, programs like Stan Brock's Remote Area Medical, a non-profit, volunteer, airborne relief corps is certainly a pretty good start.

Exercise Excuses

Actual excuses I have used this week to avoid going to the gym:

• It's too cold outside
• I'm tired
• It's too nice outside (to be cooped up inside the gym)
• It's far (my gym is 7 minutes from my house)
• It's crowded
• I have too much to do
• I had sex this morning/last night, so I've done my workout for the day
  

All my excuses seem valid to me, but dammit, thinking myself thin just isn't working so hot these days and I need to be bikini ready for our August trip to California.  Apparently, I'm not the only one with weight loss on the brain. Oh, and I think I will pass on HM's regimen for losing two pounds in twelve hours.  It's just not for me.  

Your turn: What's your favorite gym excuse? How do you bust out of an exercise rut?  

Profoundly Simple

I have been reading The Measure of a Man: A Spiritual Autobiography by Sidney Poitier and I like it.  A lot.  And not because Oprah says I should.  I like it because when the curtain of celebrity is pulled aside, Poitier is a simple man, not without his faults, who has a very basic philosophy of life that appeals to some latent, bucolic urge within me.  After only a few minutes of reading, I came upon this passage:

In the kind of place I where I grew up, what's coming at you is the sound of the sea and the smell of the wind and your mama's voice and the voice of your dad and the craziness of your brothers and sisters - and that's it.    

that has had me dreaming ever since of an idyllic island life replete with surf, sand, and family.  

Strange Things are Afoot

I swear Bubba had nothing to do the giant hole that appeared in the middle of I-25 Thursday afternoon. Really, if it were the doing of a three-year-old, I think the national news would be all over that. Besides, the Giant Hole in the Road prevented us from attending a charity function at a really cool place where children with sticky fingers and hands were given free reign for probably the first time ever. As his mother, I know there is NO WAY Bubba would have passed on a chance to be mischievous IN PUBLIC. Then, again, you never know. It is a pretty cool Hole in the Road.

My Lovely Lady Links

I've added a few new blogs to my blogroll one of which was seriously overdue. Hello! She's got three kids. I've got three kids. She was in law school. I'm (unfortunately still) in law school. How did I not know about LC and why wasn't she blogrolled sooner?! I do not know. But she's on there now and, lemme tell ya, I've been a regular over there for the past two days.

I also had to re-subscribe to Pleasant View Schoolhouse because I have PVS envy. No, really. Anna speaks to my inner Donna Reed and hers is the life I imagine when I allow myself time to dream. She's a mother, a gifted seamstress, an entrepreneur, and an extraordinary hostess who also happens to be an attorney. I totally heart her.

Another blog that's been getting a lot of clicks from me is Millionaire Mommy. Personal finance blogs are what first drew me to the blogosphere. I started in NYC with Madame X. Her candor is refreshing and intoxicating because people don't talk about money - it's a taboo subject - but Madame X, and a host of other PF bloggers, have turned that notion on its head and I like it.

I like reading about real people and their money because it inspires me to take chances and really think about making our money work for us. I've already made some budgetary changes and I'm looking forward to achieving some of our financial goals. First up: Tackling our 11k annual food budget.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Black Friday - and now Cyber Monday - officially commence the holiday season. There really is no denying it now. Christmas carols are playing on every other radio station, my neighbor's houses are adorned with red and green twinkling lights; inflatable santas and brightly-lit reindeers pose on the lawn.

I love this time of year. After finals, I am really able to embrace the holiday season and I bake, knit, and cook like a regular domestic goddess. But, I hate, hate, hate that the focus of the season is always on the gifts. What do you want? What did you buy? Are you done shopping? Those are the only questions anyone ever asks me and I'm charged with being a scrooge for refusing to partake in the frantic gift swap but - really - I've got enough stuff.

What I really want is time with my husband because we don't have a lot of "us time" between raising three children, law school, and working sixty hours a week. Time - that's it. I'm easy. No fighting with rabid shoppers at the local mall for the latest gadget. No pancaked face salesperson hawking generic, yellow diamonds from the chain jewelry store. I don't need one more set of dishtowels or witty book of quotes. I'm good on the orange sweatshirts, too. Thanks.

I just want to jump off the hamster wheel for a bit, head to the mountains, and relax. Maybe go skiing. Maybe sleep-in. Maybe just have sex all day. No plans and nowhere to be. No children screaming because that one took all the red legos from this one or arguments because that one is singing too loud, which is giving the other one a headache. Every year, I wish for more time and every year I get something useless that goes into a drawer and is only used when the gift giver is visiting. Maybe this year Santa will finally get it right.

Of course I'll buy stuff for the kids. They don't want more time. Time is meant to be filled with stuff because less stuff leads to: I'm bored. What can I do? Kids want constant stimulation and, of course, the latest gizmos. I think Lizzie wants an iPod. It's not happening for reasons I may discuss in another post. Olie wants Kit. I subtly tried to steer her towards Josefina, but Madhubby thinks I ought to just buy her the doll she wants. Could Kit be any more homogeneous but whatever.

Still, I want to instill in my children a different holiday ideal, a yardstick other than gifts they can use to measure holiday spirit. We're agnostic, so Christmas has never been about religion for us. But I do think it's about giving. We participate in the Salvation Army Giving Tree every year. This year, I think we'll also send a soldier a care package and maybe I can convince the kids to donate their allowances - with a matching contribution from us - to a charity of their choice. Friends of ours do this with their children and I think it's a great idea. It's just another way of celebrating the season that I hope my children will remember long after December 25th has come and gone.

LawSchoolMom Wisdom #45

When it is your turn to be "on call," please refrain from using derogatory phrases to describe the parties of the case because:

1. You sound like a dumbass;
2. It's offensive; and
   
3. The Professor will make angry faces at you because she is a member of the ethnic group you just insulted.
   

LawSchoolMom Wisdom #76

Get to know your neighbors. Not only do they make good drinking buddies, but they may also be flooring contractors who - because you have been so friendly to them - offer to refinish your fifty year-old hardwood floors for the cost of a steak dinner and an import beer.

My Arms Are Tired From Shoveling All This Shit

I'm sick. I'm sick of running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I'm sick of buying textbooks I will never read, but cannot return, because I'm switching boring, early morning classes for other later, more interesting ones. Yes, I'm fickle and neurotic but you knew this, so don't pretend like I'm not that girl who has been bitching and complaining the whole way through this law school thing.

I've also been sick, which is no big surprise. Law school makes me sick. The stress caused by the commencement of law school, the girl's school, Bubba's high-pitched screams at my retreating figure during preschool drop-off, my inability to be as good a mom/wife/employee as I would like to be, and my uber-critical mom coalesce into a perfect ball of shit that lands right smack atop me every August.

Today I had class at 4:10pm. I had to bend time in order to make it to my class. Soccer dad, who is not even related to us, left work early to pick up Olie, my child, from school and take her to soccer practice so that I could hustle my ass to the city in time for my class. I had five minutes to spare. I am finally home and completely wiped out. I need to pack lunches, lay out clothes, order food, read for school, set up play dates, administer and ingest cold medicine all while fighting sleep and the lure of the internet.

Honestly, I'm no good at this. I can do one thing very, very well but when I try to do several things well, I tend to fail miserably or - usually - I sink into a quagmire of guilt and I do something drastic. I am at this moment stuck in that quagmire and taking stock.

LawSchoolMom Wisdom #167

If possible, parents should have their school-aged child attend school in the neighborhood in which they live because inevitably the child will forget his or her Literature, French, and Math homework, usually on the same day, despite repeated reminders by a well-meaning parent to "pack your backpack."

The forgetful child will then urgently text their parent about the missing assignments - once...twice...thrice - while the parent frequently exceeds the speed limit*, and curses at slow motorists cruising in the left lane, during the 10 mile round trip home to retrieve the forgotten homework and deliver it to their forgetful child before the end of first period.

*Fast driving prior to tea time may also cause a lapse in judgment leading to the hasty acceptance of party invitations.

Brown and Out

It's no secret that brown people are low on the pecking order. Social issues that disproportionately affect people of color - immigration and poverty - are all given lip service by our nation's leaders. Now, we can add another category of people who ignore minorities: PR people.

CityMama is hip to it. So am I...sort of. I read dooce but, c'mon,we both know it's not her stupid pet tricks that have advertisers drooling at her feet, begging her to hawk their products. It's her devout love of all things Mormon that has media outlets burning up her bandwidth. By her own admission, she's not even remotely funny.

I'm no dooce or CityMama, but I do have stat envy. So, when the good folks at Scholastic approached me (a minority!!) about reviewing a children's television program, I chucked Citymama's advice about requesting a fee and did a gut check: do I feel good enough about the product to pass it along to my friends? Yes, yes I do. So, later this week, there may be a post a little out of the ordinary. You can read it or you ignore it but, rest assured, whatever I write will be the honest-to-goodness, unpaid, truth.

Mary Jane Math

If smoking one joint is equivalent to smoking two-and-a-half to five cigarettes AT ONE TIME and can cause the lungs to stop working properly, then how many joints does a water pipe hit equal? Because, assuming the math of the good folks at the Medical Research Institute of New Zealand is correct, I should be dead.