Thursday, July 6, 2006

Lame Ideas & A Cruel Twist of Fate

When my daughter began her usual refrain of I'm hungry, I gave her the Satan of snacks: a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I was out, trolling for yarn to add to my stash and KK was convenient (plus they have a drive-thru, Bonus!). No, I don't feel guilty. And, yes, I know Krispy Kreme doughnuts aren't healthy but I doubt they are the sole contributor to childhood obesity. Olie swims and burns off enough energy just being herself than is contained in one glazed sweet. But, I digress. Anyway, I order Olie the KK Kid's Snack Pack and she gets one doughnut (sugar, of course), strawberry milk, stickers and a toy.

Most people don't know the history of KK but I grew up in the southeast, so I was weaned on Crullers and glazed doughnuts. For those of you who don't know, KK was started about seventy years ago in North Carolina by way of NOLA. Krispy Kreme has always been a stalwart southern fixture, but they have recently expanded into northern markets. Still, their image is the same whether you're having an Original Glazed in Bama or in Denver: fresh-baked, gooey doughnuts perfect for snacking anytime of the day or night.

However, they may want to rethink the whole doughnut-maker-hat-as-toy-idea because up here, where the air is a little thinner (and the population a whole lot smarter), we don't want our children to aspire to work at Krispy Kreme. Not that there's anything wrong with working at Krispy Kreme; the makers of the glazed doughnuts perform a necessary job. But, generally unless you're in high school or desperate, fast food as a career is never an option. So, KK, please, just get rid of the hats in the kid's packs. And give kids (and parents) more of what we really want: cheap, plastic toys.

On a related note: in an effort to create energy, I had espresso this morning. BIG mistake. My stomach is not made of cast iron like some other people in my family. Regular coffee makes me a bit looney and leaves my stomach in knots. And, espresso, well, let's just say my toilet is seeing a lot of action these days.

I knew I was in trouble when my vision started to blur and I had the sensation to throw up; the same symptoms I had two days ago after brewing a cup of the death java. I felt so ill that I was unable to enjoy my KK doughnut. Even as I type this, I'm still lightheaded and my stomach feels a bit strange.

Really, though, it's not fair. Parents are probably some of the most sleep deprived people out there. I am no exception. Yet, I am unable to partake in the nectar that keeps everyone else on an even keel without upchucking my Grape Nuts. Nevertheless, I have sworn off espresso. I must strictly be green tea mama from here on out. It's unfortunate, but there is a bright side: I won't have coffee breath.

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