GOD Smacked

At first, I thought it was the city to which we had moved. Then, I thought it was just a freaky coincidence. Now, I think a higher power might be trying to intervene in my life. Not a higher power like the god of good hair or great skin but a higher power of the hell-and-brimstone variety.

We are not religious people. We don't go to church. We don't pray at dinner and bedtimes. In general, we try to lead good lives and teach our children good values but nothing about our lifestyle is overtly Christian. I think the bible is a very good fairytale concoted to frighten people into submission. I believe Jesus was a carpenter and Jewish but I do not believe he was divine. Yet, despite all of this Christians are still stalking us.

Yes, stalking us. The first incidence happened shortly after my daughter began first grade in a new town at a new school. A casual conversation on the playground led to a friendship led to a church invitation - which was declined - and the demise of the friendship came soon, thereafter. In that case, I was very honest with the person: "We don't believe in GOD. We believe our children should be nice people because - well - it's morally right to do so but if someone is being really rotten to them then we're not going to tell them it's ok and to still be nice to that person. It's not the Christian way but it's our family way.

If you are a mean spirited person, then no amount of praying is going to change you. You have to want to change. I have known people, who consider themselves to be good Christians, who are the most spiteful, back-biting and amoral of the bunch. Still, they dress up in their best on Sunday, grab their bibles and march off to church with the true believers. Yet, we're the heathens? I don't think so.

The next conversion attempt was fairly recent. Same Modus Operandi: friendly conversation on the playground leads to friendship leads to church invitation. What's that saying? Once bitten, twice shy? No...that's not it. Ahh...hell no! Well, I didn't exactly say that but I have not attended their church and, though the friendship hasn't died, it has faltered a bit.

Lizzie did receive a Christian rock cd from their daughter for her birthday. Conversion through child is a familiar ploy. Lizzie has been invited to church when we declined to go. I think the tactic is: the parents are going to hell but we can save the children!

Which brings me to this evening. Lizzie had a friend over from school. Good conversation, healthy snack, foosball and playstation then WHAM! Wanna come to Youth Group with me? Lizzie was stoked to go but I quashed that noise. No, thank you. Maybe next time. "Great I go every Wednesday!" Really? 'Cause we're busy every Wednesday until the Second Coming. But, thanks for the invite.