Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Hard Choices

Today, I chose to miss my afternoon seminar class. A class in which attendance is mandatory, because the class only meets once per week, but my choices were:
  1. Skip Class
  2. Leave one daughter without a way to get home from school and the other daughter without a ride to soccer practice (Dad filling in was not an option this afternoon).
I chose option #1 because I have some insane belief that children, especially those under the age of sixteen shouldn't be left to their own devices. Yes, I should have had a back-up plan - and I usually do - but my back-up plan fell through and I didn't have a plan C. Jeezus, I'm angry that I even need an option C.

Not to flog a dead horse but as women parents, can we really do it all without giving up something? Is it really possible to be a good parent/spouse/employee/student without sacrificing either your sanity, your own interests or both? Honestly, and this is between you and me, I don't think so. At least not while our children are young and living at home. What do you think? All opinions - even contrary ones - are welcome.

7 comments:

PT-LawMom said...

I don't know about you but my interests are always the first to go. It sucks. I often wonder why my husband doesn't feel the same pressure -- probably because he knows I'll do whatever it is if he doesn't.

Zuska said...

My sleep is the first to go. Then my interests. Then my social life. I spent all three years of law school feeling quite lonely, because I had no time to devote to friendships or building a school-related support network.

I have no idea what is going to happen once I start working full time (in 4 days).

I am just grateful that my husband's interests are also his work, and happen 80% at home. This was not always the case, and he gave up a LOT during my schooling.

I'm also grateful that we don't drive anywhere, and the girls' soccer practice is 4 blocks from our house.

Sorry about today. Will things be okay with the seminar?

LawSchoolMom said...

@pt-law mom: Oddly, my husband doesn't feel that pressure either and it makes me batty. I think "how can he find time to do this stuff and I can't?" Short answer: I'm doing his share of the (home) work.

LawSchoolMom said...

@zuska: 4 days?! Seriously? Just one thing: whatever happens - blog it! I can't wait to read all about firm life and family life and - hopefully - that the two can happily coexist.

And, you? You're my hero. There is NO WAY I could forego sleep. :0

I honestly don't know what will happen with my seminar class. I've had this professor before, and she likes me, so I hope she gives me a little slack.

Monique said...

While I'm not in law school yet, I do understand your struggle. With 3 kids, full time work and school, let's just say batty is a kind word.

And I'm with you and PTLawmom, why doesn't my husband feel this pressure. He seems to find to have drinks with the boys, and playing video games and so on.

But as women, we always seem to make it through. So just hang in there.

Kady said...

Apparently, my health is the first to go. No, I don't think you can do it w/o giving up something. I've outsourced child rearing for now, but I will reclaim it someday. I hope....

Mom to brown eyed kids said...

Hi! I am considering law school and enjoying your posts. I am an older mom contemplating a second career in public interest law.

I personally feel it is the nitnoid daily "to dos" that drive women slowly insane. Whatever housework you can possibly outsource...do! It is worth a smaller house to have the $ to pay someone else to clean it..My two cents. Getting your children to do more around the house, preparing their own lunches, etc. will take a lot off your sholders. Men never feel the same pressure because they are not judged like we are...Find all those daily gremlins and streamline or outsource. Of course I will be crying buckets when I have your schedule, no doubt. BUT you are providing a good example for your daughter (s). They will do what we DO not what we SAY. How can we encourage them to be whatever they want to be when we do not believe we can aspire to pursuits other than domestic life? Keep blogging!