Friday, March 27, 2009

Friends With Baby Benefits

In the last year, five of my friends have had babies. One friend even had two babies at once! That is six new, little human beings who joined the world last year. And every time a friend announces her pregnancy, Madhubby and I exchange The Look. It is a two-second look that says we are never doing that again.

We don't dislike children but we are not adding anymore babies to our family. Ever. Our first baby, Lizzie, was easy and then along came Olie and it was a completely different parenting experiment that left me reeling and thinking: What the hell?! This parenting stuff is hard.

Once I had Bubba, The Boy Who Nursed Every Ninety Minutes, we knew we were done. We were exhausted for the first eighteen months of his life because my hungry baby also had some weird, but very common allergy, to sleeping in his own room. In our bed, he slept like, well, like a baby.

We waited two months after Bubba's birth before permanently shutting down the baby factory. There were times when I regretted it - wondered if we should have waited a year or two - but those moments were fleeting. Now all my girlfriends are reproducing and I'm happy for them- - they are starting their families - but I am so happy for us, too because we get to hug, love, and enjoy their babies without any of the work or nasty side effects (one word: lochia).

I love babies - they are so small and sweet - but I love being a FWBB more. I will happily babysit and spoil those six little kiddos, within reason, but when I grow weary of them, I can send them back home their parents and feel not an ounce of guilt. It's what I imagine being an aunt or a grandparent is like: All the fun with none of the responsibility.


Catherine said...

I have two kids and am looking into Law School for the fall of 2010. I should have done it when I was younger - but perhaps I know better now what I want. I found a list of law blogs and picked yours out of the list since your story sounds familiar! Am I insane? Law School and small children? I guess the first step is applying and getting accepted...

Anonymous said...

My sister is expecting her first baby next month. I plan on going home to smother him in kisses and gifts and when I've had enough I'm heading back to the midwest! Family With Baby Benefits!