Remember that perfect, wonderful, family friendly job I had? Yes? Well, it's disappeared *poof* into thin air. I am simply another unemployed law school graduate. I've gone through the phases of grief and I accept it. I'm no longer angry, but for awhile there I was mad as hell.
See, my former employer who also happened to be a close friend, could have told me about his micromanaging tendencies. He could have told me I would be required to consult him before completing any tasks - even very minor ones. He could have warned me that my failure to do so - and to question the necessity of doing so - would have drastic consequences. If he had been completely above board with me, then I would have been honest with him: "I cannot work with you." So many problems could have been avoided. Instead, I was misled into believing I could be autonomous and own my projects - something I have always done quite well in the working world.
My friend thinks we mutually decided to end my employment. In reality, I was biding my time. I had planned to learn as much as I could from him over the summer but find a different position come fall. Ask my husband. He will tell you that I complained almost constantly about my friend's micromanagement style, about his inability to delegate, and about his general lack of emotional intelligence in the workplace. I was miserable the whole time and I did not hide it well. I felt pushed and I pushed back. Hard.
The job promised me has been rescinded. I don't care. I didn't want it anyway once I began working with him. The friendship is in shambles, though there is the hollow, farewell promise to "keep in touch." We will probably never speak again.
I replay our last conversation in my mind thinking of things I should have said, things I should have told him that would help him be a better manager but is it of no use. I didn't say them. He wouldn't have listened anyway. That is the micromanaging style. Their way is always the best way. You know the old adage, "It's my way or the highway." Well, I choose the highway.
5 comments:
It sucks that you might lose a friend on top of losing work. Give it some time, and try to keep in touch, you may be surprised with how easily you can both forgive after just a month or two.
I am sorry it did not work out. I wish I could post something witty and useful, without being cliche (sorry cannot get accent over the e)but I cannot think of anything other than. "It will be okay." And I mean it, becuase you will make it okay by finding something that fits you (not the you someone wants to make you into)better.
J.
Don't know how I missed this post earlier in the week. I am sorry. Fingers crossed for you.
It's never easy to lose a job and a friendship in one day. But...micromanagement never works for anyone in the long run so it's better you got out now.
This happened to me; passed the bar, had baby # 3, went to work for a friend who promised friendly hours--I think it is not your friend, it is the nature of the work to be done. Private practice is very deadline driven, parenting -- especially when your spouse is used to you shouldering most of the load -- requires you to be in the present with the kids: inherent conflict. I chose my spouse and kids over the job, but I also think my spouse could have stepped up a little bit. I think your approach is healthier, be annoyed at your friend. But be honest about the situation, too.
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