Queen Bitch

I've read the bestselling novel, Queen Bees & Wannabees and I really think I ought to write the companion to it. It would be about the Type A (as in asshole) mothers who churn out these little bitches of girls. OH. MY. GOD.

Lizzie had a little friend over the other night. We'll call her Kat. Anyway, Kat tells us a story at dinner about a friend at school who hasn't been all that great of a friend to her. This friend, who I think may be a nice enough girl, would meet Kat after school for playdates on the playground. The only problem was that the friend's mother doesn't "approve" of Kat and didn't want her daughter spending time with her. So, one day the friend doesn't show for the playdate and Kat calls her find out what's what. The mother answers the phone and bitches out Kat (a nine year old, btw) for being a bad influence on her daughter and she has the nerve to tell Kat that she doesn't deserve to have any friends. So, Kat tells her mother who calls Queen Bitch up on the phone. Kat's mom gets the same riot act read to her! WTF?! Um..hello?! These are children!

If Queen Bitch wants to control her daughter and pick her daughter's friends, then whatever. Those are her "mommy issues" but to take it out on a nine year old? C'mon! You've got to be seriously unbalanced to pull some shit like that.

The instinct to protect one's young is biologically hardwired into us and that Queen Bitch makes a mama wanna slap her ass. I may not have grown up in the ghetto but I can flip in a minute and it'll be lights out.

Seriously, though, is it any wonder little girls are more uptight than ever and downright mean to one another. Imagine how you might be with an ubermom who's been planning your whole life for you since conception. The book really ought to gone more in-depth about mom's role in shaping the Queen Bee. After all, isn't it true that the bee doesn't buzz too far from the hive?