We Interrupt this Blog

Can we talk television for a minute? Loyal readers know that we are a cable free by choice household. Yes, it is a bit like being child free by choice but with a lot more social stigma ("You don't have HBO? Ohmigod!") and a lot fewer discernible benefits. Being cable free doesn't mean we have more money or more sex. More of both would be good.

Until recently, our lifestyle choice wasn't a problem, but the onset of football season has seriously fucked this up.

Monday Night Football has always been a Primetime staple. Had a bad weekend? No worries, Monday Night Football is on tomorrow. Hate Mondays? Wait...Monday Night Football is on tonight! Hell, hated Sunday's football? Everything will be all good in twenty-four hours. But, no more! Nope, ABC pulled the Primetime plug on Monday Night Football and shuffled it over to their sister station, ESPN, which is fine if you have cable. Which, as you know, we don't!

And, they finally got it right. Al Michaels and John Madden, together. Oh! It can't get any better than that but we don't get to partake in the manna because the doofus' who call Monday night's game are ESPN peeps. And, they suck.

Last night, we got a taste of the nectar because the game was shown on a local channel. And, it was oh so sweet. Except for the appearance by the Desperate Housewives guy. C'mon? Who cares. Women who watch football don't watch Desperate Housewives. We just don't. So, please, no more plumber guy.

Women who watch football just want their network stations to show all the football games, so that we don't have to shell out $200 for the "NFL Package," and we want our men to answer our football related questions, quickly and succinctly, without trying to cop a feel. Low standards. Pretty easy. Neither one of these standards ever gets met but we keep lobbying.

So, please, ABC, think of us frugal women who need their weekly football. While you're enjoying first downs and extra points, penalties and T.O. drama, I'm fending off boob grabs while fighting an internal battle to just relent and give Comcast all our dough. If you put Monday Night Football back on network tv, I could have two exciting things happening at once. And, the boob grabs? Worth every first down.