I was psyched to start my new happy pills today but there is one little hitch. These new pills, these magic pills that make people shed weight like crazy and break into song because they are so damn happy, don't play well with caffeine. As in, if I drink caffeine while I'm on this medication I could HAVE A SEIZURE AND DIE. This might be a problem considering I need a soy latte, a cup or two of chai, and a few cups of green tea to get through the day.
But, I'm going to be a nerd here and beat this language like it was statutory and say could just as easily means could not. It's definitely not the same as will. So now, if I drink caffeine while taking my magical happy pills I could not have a seizure, but lose lots of weight and be super happy. See how much better that sounds?