Thursday, July 10, 2008

Fat Chick

I quit taking Zoloft six months ago. The "experts" don't recommend you quit cold turkey, but I did because I was desperate. I thought the Zoloft was making me fat and I decided that I would rather be an unhappy skinny person than a blissed-out fat person. Yeah, there were probably other factors at work like my love for Cherry Garcia, but I had always eaten ice cream with abandon and never worried about fitting into my jeans.

But I know Zoloft is to blame for some of my weight gain because my weight fluctuated so wildly while I was on it. In the first two weeks of taking it, I lost eleven pounds. It was all downhill from there and I gained twenty-four pounds in three months with no changes in my eating or exercise habits.

I quit taking it but there was no change in my weight. So, I went back on it because, hello, I was still depressed. I experienced another ten pound weight loss and for awhile I actually began to think Zoloft was making me lose weight and if I just stuck with it that I would easily lose the twenty pounds of baby weight I was still carrying. Eighteen months later, I was FORTY pounds overweight. After two years on Zoloft, I had ballooned from a size 4 to a size 14. I stopped taking Zoloft midway through the first of six refills and I haven't looked back.

I upped my exercising and vowed to be a more conscientious eater. I lost ten pounds. Not good enough. To date, I'm still fat and very, very depressed about it. So I'm ready to try a new drug. One that I have heard will help my depression and also help me lose weight. I won't name the drug here, it doesn't matter, because I've already decided to try it. I am a desperate woman. I need some results. I miss my skinny jeans. I miss my cute dresses. But most of all, I miss the girl I used to be before I became a fat chick.


Butterflyfish said...

I quit zoloft cold and went bat shit crazy for a few weeks. Really nucking futs. Of course I didn't blame the cold turkey then. That was one of the worst experiences of my life. Havne't been back on anything since though I often need to be

sorel top said...

It's a battle and not an easy one. I found Weight Watchers helpful after my second pregnancy. Now I use to track eating. Age certainly has made keeping weight off harder. Hang in there!!

law(crazy)mom said...

Two kids did it to me but I do feel your pain! Do what feels right for you...I decided a year ago to try to get more fit but not to obsess over it. I am single and it's hard b/c all the guys I am attracted to are fit--I can't very well try to grab them up in my size 16's! I like the website are lots of tips and receipes on there...good luck with the new pills...

LawSchoolMom said...

@Butterflyfish: I think avoiding the "bat shit crazy" stage is why experts recommend you wean yourself slowly off Z. :)

@sorel top: Part of my problem is that I expect weight loss to be easy because it HAS always been easy for me. This weight is sticking and I'm frustrated and vacillate between giving up and pushing forward.

@law(crazy)mom: Thanks for the website. I will take a look at it. Today is DAY 1 of my new prescription so we'll see.

I will keep you all posted.

EatPlayLove said...

you should join me, I walk or run on the greenway in the neighborhood past the library to the open space..It's a few miles and a great way to get out of the house for some peace!

let me know, you are welcome anytime!