Reason #236 to Love Exercise

Anthropologie clothes that fit like a dream. When I was thin, I was a clotheshorse. Lucky Brand jeans were my drug of choice (I own 12 pairs). When I was at my heaviest, I hated shopping. Now that I am somewhere in between, shopping is fun again and I have been doing more of it. A new suit, some new jeans, and a fabulous pair of trousers from Anthropologie that enhance both my butt and my mood.

Fighting the Flab

I was losing weight at a steady clip, fourteen pounds in four weeks, until - BAM - I hit a weight loss plateau and now I've been stuck at the same weight for the past month. I googled "Busting Through Weight Loss Plateau" and the first hit was a Jillian Michaels article that sent me off in a new direction.

Jillian says: hit the gym hard, reduce sodium and complex carbs, and drink more water to send the number on the scale downward. I took her advice to heart because Jillian has proven that she knows how to make people lose a lot of weight. I filled a 32oz. bottle with water, grabbed my gym bag, and hit the gym where I ran for fifty minutes at a decent pace. I won't be setting any records or anything but I think just going for a run was probably enough to shock my metabolism into burning more calories.

For lunch I had a Tokyo Joe's white chicken bowl with veggies and brown rice. I normally order Teriyaki sauce but I tried the Oyako sauce because I'm limiting my sodium intake. The Oyako sauce was good, not as sticky as Teriyaki, but also not as salty. For dinner, I made chicken enchiladas which are pretty low in sodium; El Pinto's Roasted Green Chile only has 70mg of sodium per 2 Tablespoon.

So far so good. Except for that pint of Cherry Garcia sitting in my freezer. That could be a problem.

Oh, Hell No

I'm the one who goes to the gym four or five days per week, who punishes her quads and hammies carrying the kid up the mountainside, who works to perfect Warrior II, and who takes every opportunity to squeeze just a little more exercise into her daily routine. I have lost 6 pounds in two weeks.

Madhubby walks .75 miles every day to and from the bus stop in our neighborhood. He hikes with me on the weekends but he does not ever carry the kid in the backpack carrier.* He doesn't practice yoga and the only weights he lifts are named Bubba and Olie. He has lost 12 pounds in two weeks.

What the hell?! Sure, I'm proud of him for making the commitment to lose weight with me and for keeping a Daily Record of Food He Stuffs in His Piehole but, dammit, he's not supposed to outpace me!



*I always volunteer to carry the kid because it's a really good workout.

An Olympic Family Tradition on a Diet

This year we're breaking tradition. Usually for the Olympic Opening Ceremony our dinner is the cuisine of the host country. For example, two years ago, for the 2006 winter games, we had Italian food from an excellent local place. The price for our big family was a small fortune and it took the restaurant nearly sixty minutes to deliver it to us but it was all good - the kids loved it and a tradition was born.

But that was so two years ago when Skinny LSM wasn't around to keep Fat LSM in line. Back then, Fat LSM would put herself down for the sweet and sour chicken, fried rice, some egg rolls, and maybe one (or three) crab wontons. But Skinny LSM says hold on a minute, hops online, checks the calories of her proposed meal, and immediately put the kibosh on that idea. Too much saturated fat and way too much sodium.

This year's backup plan: Tokyo Joe's. I know it's Japanese food, but it's fast, fresh, and I still get to use chopsticks.

Four Pounds

Last week I lost four pounds. It was the hardest four pounds I've ever lost in my life, I'm sure of it. Don't mistake me, I am exhilarated that the scale registered me four pounds lighter this morning but tired, too, thinking about all the hard work I put into losing those pounds - and how much more work I must do to lose the additional pounds clinging for dear life to my ass and thighs. Oh, how I hate you scale for giving me happiness and despair in equal measures!

What works for me is not thinking about the gym and the grueling workout that will ensue. Because if I really sit and think about the sixty minutes of cardio I must do, then I won't go to the gym. Just thinking of how tired I'm going to be after the gym is all I need to stay home with my ass and thighs glued to the sofa and expanding ever so slightly because I slacked off for one day.

Because you know that bit about making exercise part of your daily routine and blah, blah, blah. It's true for me. For the past two weeks, or since I vowed to reclaim my skinny self, I've forced myself to the gym most days of the week. In a typical week, I go to the gym four days of the week, do a forty minute exercise tape on my "off" day, then on Sundays take a vigorous hike with my 38lb preschooler strapped to my back.

I also only eat 1500-1700 calories per day of mostly healthy stuff but sometimes I blow 600 calories on a donut or, say, 12 Fudge Stripe cookies. I usually do ok as long as I remember to have a high caloric breakfast because I don't binge eat if I have at least 300 calories at breakfast.

On 12-cookie-day, I'd only had 193.8 calories for breakfast and I know this because I keep a Food Diary otherwise known as a Daily Record of All the Crap I Stuff in My Pie Hole. Keeping a food diary helps me stay on my daily caloric intake path. I know it sounds a little, well, Oprahatic, but it really does work. I mean, look at me, I lost four pounds by meticulously recording my food intake and subjecting my body to punishing workouts. Sounds like fun, right?

Of course, if those four pounds had detached themselves from my thighs instead of from my boobs, then this post might be a little bit more sunshine and unicorns but, readers, exercise and proper eating is really fricking hard. Thank goodness I've got skinny me slapping me around and keeping me in line or 12-cookie-day would be everyday.

Fat Chick

I quit taking Zoloft six months ago. The "experts" don't recommend you quit cold turkey, but I did because I was desperate. I thought the Zoloft was making me fat and I decided that I would rather be an unhappy skinny person than a blissed-out fat person. Yeah, there were probably other factors at work like my love for Cherry Garcia, but I had always eaten ice cream with abandon and never worried about fitting into my jeans.

But I know Zoloft is to blame for some of my weight gain because my weight fluctuated so wildly while I was on it. In the first two weeks of taking it, I lost eleven pounds. It was all downhill from there and I gained twenty-four pounds in three months with no changes in my eating or exercise habits.

I quit taking it but there was no change in my weight. So, I went back on it because, hello, I was still depressed. I experienced another ten pound weight loss and for awhile I actually began to think Zoloft was making me lose weight and if I just stuck with it that I would easily lose the twenty pounds of baby weight I was still carrying. Eighteen months later, I was FORTY pounds overweight. After two years on Zoloft, I had ballooned from a size 4 to a size 14. I stopped taking Zoloft midway through the first of six refills and I haven't looked back.

I upped my exercising and vowed to be a more conscientious eater. I lost ten pounds. Not good enough. To date, I'm still fat and very, very depressed about it. So I'm ready to try a new drug. One that I have heard will help my depression and also help me lose weight. I won't name the drug here, it doesn't matter, because I've already decided to try it. I am a desperate woman. I need some results. I miss my skinny jeans. I miss my cute dresses. But most of all, I miss the girl I used to be before I became a fat chick.

Rocky Mountain High

The girls feeling great and in good spirits after an eight mile hike.

Health Kick in the Ass

Hi. My name is LSM, and I'm overweight. I've been carrying 40 extra pounds since birthing baby #3. Sure, I gained 50lbs while pregnant with Bubba, but I'd always been able to lose the baby weight fairly quickly, so I wasn't worried; I gained the same amount of weight with Lizzie. But, you know all that talk about metabolism getting slower with age? It's true.

I was 20 years old and a lazy ass while pregnant with Lizzie; dropped the baby weight and then some in nine months by working out like a fiend postpartum. 25 years old with Olie, I exercised the entire pregnancy and was back in the gym as soon as she was old enough for the nursery; the weight just melted off. Then came Bubba when I was 28. I was so sick the entire pregnancy. I could hardly take care of Lizzie and Olie, let alone schlep to the gym. I did some yoga to stay limber and relaxed for the birth, but that was it. Before, I had always enjoyed pregnancy, but I hated it the entire 40 weeks I was pregnant with Bubba. I just wanted him OUT.

Three children, law school, and being the perfect wife took its toll and I officially relinquished my gym rat status. But, now I don't like my body. I'm not one of those women who dreams about what it would be like to be thin. I was thin. I have a whole tub of skinny jeans to prove it! So, I'm back to exercising with a vengeance. South Beach diet, vigorous hiking with a 30lb kid strapped to my back, Pilates, Yoga, Tennis, and, yes, even the boring machines at the gym. I'm determined to get back to former self and cute clothes. Wish me luck.

iPod Take Ten - New Year's Eve Edition

It's New Year's Eve, y'all! Time to make all those resolutions that you know will be broken by the end of January. Since exercise is always near the top of everyone's list, I present you with a very special and extended version of "iPod Take Ten," random tracks from my Gym Grooves playlist for your exercising pleasure:

1. Nuthin' But A "G" Thang - Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg
2. The Way You Move - Outkast
3. You Make Me Sick - Pink
4. SOS - Rihanna
5. My Love Is Like....Wo - Mya
6. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira w/ Wyclef
7. London Bridge (unedited) - Fergie
8. Family Affair - Mary J. Blige
9. Can't Get You Out of My Head - Kylie Minogue
10. Toxic - Britney Spears
11. Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani
12. Yeah - Usher w/ Lil' Jon
13. Shut Up - Black Eyed Peas
14. In Da Club - 50 Cent
15. The Zephyr Song - Red Hot Chili Peppers
16. Right Thurr - Chingy
17. Lose Yourself - Eminem
18. Love Don't Cost A Thing (RJ Schoolyard Mix) - J. Lo
19. Move Along - The All-American Rejects
20. Feel Good, Inc. - Gorillaz
21. California Love - 2pac & Dr. Dre
22. Caught Up - Usher
23. I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At the Disco
    
24. Come on Over - Christina Aguilera
25. SexyBack - JT
    

Running

I've started running again. Just a few miles around the neighborhood. Nothing big or earth-shattering. I just can't find any other exercise that gives me the results running does. It's definitely painful and I'm still easing back into it. I'm still waiting for the turning point. Runners know it. It's the point where your body craves the high. You have to run and you feel restless when you don't.

Aside from the obvious physical benefits, running has also given me a mental boost. I take a time-out and go running during that critical time of the day: after my spouse gets home but right before the evening routines. The more I run, the clearer my thoughts and the stress just melts away. All the whining and complaining and bickering that my children have done is suddenly gone. It's just me running against the dusk.

Running past friends' houses, past elderly couples out for a stroll, and past kids wringing the last bit of play out of the day. Then, without warning, the sky turns bright pink then blackish-gray and the last bit of sun is gone. I see a sea of lights - white and red - and Long's Peak rising above them like a mighty iceberg.

I keep going, around the circle and past the girls' school, down past the firehouse and the Lutheran church, the Catholic church and the Evangelical church. I pause to admire a Nativity scene in a neighbor's yard. I start the up the small hill that leads me home, past familiar places, until I arrive at my red door, spent, happy, and so thankful for this life.

Do You Have a Reservation?

I'm gonna rant here so if you'd like to stop now and cruise on over to someone elses blog, feel free to do so. I'll wait.
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For all of you who are still here: let's chat about this whole reservation system that has been slowly transforming the child-friendly gym goers into a "no families allowed" crowd.

Because I pay $40k in tuition per year I get to work out at a swanky gym that is part of the school. It has the latest in cardio equipment, an awesome Olympic-sized swimming pool and televisions conveniently located wherever some serious pain-inducing working out is in progress. I like it there. It's (mostly) free. I know it's part of my tuition but let's focus on the positives, shall we? The only problem I have with swanky gym is the stupid "childcare reservation" system.

Now, c'mon, when was the last time the "parental" you made reservations? Reservations at a nice restaurant for date night? Sure. Reservations for that impromptu weekend trip to Maui? Sure. Well, not really. But, work with me here. But, a reservation to exercise? A reservation for something that I really don't want to do in the first place? Parents can't be expected to remember to make a childcare reservation because they might want to exercise Thursday morning.

What happened to "drop-in" childcare? We still have that, I was assured, but not on busy days, which, I was also told, is every day but the weekend. Of course you're not busy on the weekend. Weekends are for sleeping in not sweating to the oldies! Now, not only do I nothave a reservation, I am also not going to work out today or tomorrow or...ever, really. But! If I buy a yearly membership, then I can make a reservation up to two days in advance. Um, I don't decide whether I'm even going to the gym until the moment I actually do so it's really unlikely that I will know two days in advance.

What really irks me, though is that swanky gym is not the only local gym with this policy. My local rec center has the same stupid reservation system. The local rec center, for which I pay taxes to support, won't let me drop my child at the childcare center -- again subsidized with my tax dollars -- unless I have a reservation? You guys are one step up from the Y but I'm the one being unreasonable. Yeah. I totally see that.

So, the result is less stay-at-home-parents at the gym, more singles, and more Mom Ass spreading throughout the nation like a plague.

Life in a Coma

For the most part, Zoloft is the little blue pill of miracles. Of course, if you are at all like me then you can never remember to take it at the same time each day and one day drags into the next day and into the next day and then - well - you're crazy and have to start all over again. That's me - crazy and starting a new round with the miracle pill.

So far so bad. I had blocked out the bone-crushing fatigue and the general feeling that can only be described as hazy. Today, I took a two hour nap with Bubba. It was so nice. Really, taking Zoloft is like being permanently baked every single day of your life except without the munchies and without the stigma. I'm not lazy or irresponsible just depressed! Although, either one or both together is really a-ok in this fair city of mine.

I am still waiting for the "good" side effect to kick in: the insane weight loss. But, as of today, I still have a serious jones for Entemanns' brownies and my ass still has its own zip code. All in due time, I suppose.

The Devil Wears Spandex

Rodney Yee is the devil in spandex. This morning he kicked my butt with thirty minutes of Ashtanga/Power Yoga. Of course, I didn't put up too much of a fight. I am on quest to reclaim my body from my children. So far, I am losing that battle. I think Ben & Jerry are in collusion with my kids. Still, I persevere. I must. I have a 40 gallon plastic tub of Lucky jeans that want to see the light of day again.

B.K. (before kids) my exercise routine was - well - routine. Up at 5 or 6am and off to the gym for sixty to ninety minutes. Home, shower, and off to school or work and back to the gym for an evening workout. I was a self proclaimed gym rat. Even after Lizzie, my schedule was pretty much the same except I would get to the gym around 8am, when the childcare center opened. Pretty much the same with Olie. Then, BAM! Bubba and his "I-hate-the-gym-and-everyone-in-it disposition" completely threw me for a loop and - well - almost two years later I am still at my 40-weeks-gestation-weight and hatin' life like no other.

I was a thin, hot mama. Now, my sexy has been sapped. My Lucky jeans are packed away and I've gone two summers (two!) without baring my bikini belly. I wouldn't want to frighten the small children at the pool. Hell, who am I kidding? I wouldn't want to frighten the adults! So, I'm on a quest. I must lose this weight by ski season because I am so not buying bibs in size cow.*

Any readers out there recently start an exercise plan? If so, maybe we can motivate each other.


*I have plenty of cute ski clothes packed away as it is and my frugal inner self cringes at the thought of shelling out hundreds more dollars because I have no willpower.