Today is the absolute final day for our family to submit our tuition contract, along with a hefty deposit, to secure a prized spot at the swanky Montessori school. Remember when I blogged my joy at being accepted by said school? And, most recently about my anxiety about making the ginormous* tuition payments?
I have struggled with this decision and it really comes down to freedom. If we accept the spot, we have considerably less financial freedom. If we don't accept the spot, then I have considerably less freedom to do - well- my best work. I will have to decline my internship, take evening classes, and continue to exist in a harried state, speaking in half sentences and missing appointments because balancing school, work, my personal ambitions, and quality time with my children is just.too. damn. hard. and requires more energy than this mama has.
But, the question remains whether I should put my needs ahead of our financial security? The plight of a career mom turned SAHM who wants to return to the working world is a big topic about which much has been written and about which I could write volumes. Despite all the ink dedicated to working moms, I still no idea how to manage "it all" and I am really in awe of those moms who do have it all together. I know there are no easy answers - there never are with life altering decisions - but a even a small hint of how things could fit together would be a godsend.
*ginormous is actual word, and not a misspelling, in bloggerdom