The Sweetest Bear in the World

Bubba's stage debut was so adorable! Madhubby and I have watched the video at least six times since Friday. I would love to share it here but I respect the privacy of the other parents and their children. But Bubba did great and he used his deep, booming Papa Bear voice just like we rehearsed!

Mia Walker

• likes show dogs
• but does not like dogs
• likes chocolate and nuts
• but does not sugar or salt
• likes cars
• but definitely does not like trains

I have no idea who Mia Walker is but Bubba does.  I DO know that Mia Walker has very definite likes and dislikes for a preschooler and now I, and everyone else in Super Target, knows what they are.  

Pee Minus 21

Bubba starts preschool in twenty-one days. His toilet learning has gotten a lot better - he only occasionally pees on Thomas (the Tank Engine underwear) - and, when we're lucky, he does his other business in the toilet, too. Nevertheless, I'm worried that he's not quite there. I think he may have too many daily accidents for the preschool staff to handle. Then again, they are kind and loving Montesorri folk, so my worries are most likely all for naught.

Just Like Home Except Without the Raw Sewage

With only an hour to spare, I sped over to the montessori school and deposited a large chunk of money with them. The director met me at the door, hugged me, and inquired after Lizzie whom she has not seen in seven years. It was then that I knew we had made the right choice to enroll Bubba. My worries about his incomplete toilet training were also allayed by a simple: no problem, we'll continue his toilet learning here. Just make sure he's on the right path.

Then I went home. To basement drains overflowing with toilet paper and other stuff disgusting enough to afflict even the iron stomach of Madhubby. Some days, like when sewage backs up into your finished basement, home ownership really sucks. Yesterday had me seriously thinking about selling this house instead of leasing it, but Madhubby thinks once the sewer line is snaked, it will be all good again. I hope so because, honestly, I don't know how many more big checks I can write without completely losing my sh*t.

Update: the plumber is here now and there is no way in hell I am going anywhere near his work site. As the mom of three children, I've already seen enough poo to last me a lifetime.

Deposit Day

Today is the absolute final day for our family to submit our tuition contract, along with a hefty deposit, to secure a prized spot at the swanky Montessori school. Remember when I blogged my joy at being accepted by said school? And, most recently about my anxiety about making the ginormous* tuition payments?

I have struggled with this decision and it really comes down to freedom. If we accept the spot, we have considerably less financial freedom. If we don't accept the spot, then I have considerably less freedom to do - well- my best work. I will have to decline my internship, take evening classes, and continue to exist in a harried state, speaking in half sentences and missing appointments because balancing school, work, my personal ambitions, and quality time with my children is just.too. damn. hard. and requires more energy than this mama has.

But, the question remains whether I should put my needs ahead of our financial security? The plight of a career mom turned SAHM who wants to return to the working world is a big topic about which much has been written and about which I could write volumes. Despite all the ink dedicated to working moms, I still no idea how to manage "it all" and I am really in awe of those moms who do have it all together. I know there are no easy answers - there never are with life altering decisions - but a even a small hint of how things could fit together would be a godsend.


*ginormous is actual word, and not a misspelling, in bloggerdom

The $40,000 Preschool

I am astounded by the high cost of childcare and especially at the inverse relationship between preschool costs and wages. The responsibility of managing our modest one-income is primarily mine, as is the responsibility of choosing a quality preschool for our son. Usually, I am pretty good steward of our finances, but I've been recently thrown for a loop with Bubba's impending preschool tuition. Quick background: we applied to one preschool because we trust them and, because of Bubba's late birthday, we need a school that he can attend through kindergarten. Lizzie went there when she was a tot and now its Bubba's turn.

Now, for the scary part: tuition is $9500/yr (payable in ten payments or a lump sum). For preschool. For the past few weeks I have been exploring other options but none of them seem right. We can afford the monthly payment but should we? $950 is a mortgage payment for people who don't live along the Front Range or require much living space. $950 that, barring any tuition increases (unlikely) must be paid by us for the next FORTY months.

So, I am at loss for a viable solution. If we decline the spot, there is little doubt in my mind that Bubba will ever get into this preschool again; we were on the waitlist for two years. In hindsight, we could have set aside that money for just this purpose but hindsight is 20/20 and right now, our preschool future is anything but clear.

We WON the Lottery!

Not really. But, it certainly feels like it. Bubba as been -sort of-unofficially-not-until-you-sign-in-blood - offered a spot for next fall at the same Montessori school his older sis attended.

I am over the moon because this school is our first choice and we've been on the waitlist so long that Bubba has actually been offered a spot in the older class because he's too young for our original classroom choice (sorry, dear. Our toddler program is really small). I get it. We only had to wait two years to get in. Now, you're stuck with us for the next three years!

On another positive note: Madhubby and I have a date night scheduled! We've found a new sitter and she's all set to give us a break - er - positively influence the little ones while we sample the fruits of Ted's Montana Grill and enjoy a well-earned movie.

Preschool Admissions Game

I love that I live in one of the most educated counties in the United States. I love that we have numerous choices for preschool from Mom's Day Out groups to Montessori schools. It's all great. What I do not love, however, is that I can't seem to get my toddler into any of these wonderful preschools! I've played this game before and I know it all too well. Lizzie, my oldest daughter, was on the waitlist of a local Montessori school for TWO YEARS before they called us with an opening for her. TWO YEARS! WTF? You would think that I would know by now that I can't begin my fall preschool search the spring before. Still, I'm praying to the preschool gods that a spot will open up somewhere for us. Don't get me wrong. I'm on several waitlists and have been for the past year but when I phone the schools to inquire about the possibility of getting in for fall, they laugh at me and coolly tell me there's no way in hell my son is getting in this year. They are full up through the end of 2006. Better luck next year.

Okay...I don't know about you but preschool wasn't this big of a deal when I was a tot. The kids who went had to because their parents were working during the day. It's not like that anymore. Now, the kids who go are the ones whose parents have AM Yoga classes and PM Reformer classes and book clubs and knitting clubs and all the other suburban mom crap. The parents actually stay at home but for the sake of sanity need a little bit of a break every now and again. I admit. I'm one of those moms. I need to send Bubba off somewhere for two days a week both so I can be a better, balanced, mommy and so that he can interact with other kids who think that playing cars all day is pretty darn cool. Also, I need to go back to school because my crushing student loan debt ain't gonna get paid with only half of a law degree. Which means, that Bubba and mama need a freakin' spot to open up asap! Right now my chances are looking pretty slim.

Maybe I should start a rumor about a preschool. All it takes is one comment to a fellow parent: "Did you hear they do such-and-such at Fancy Pants preschool?" to get the ball rolling. Hmm...I've done worse things for a lot less. And, if it benefits Bubba, then how can I go wrong? Oh, who am I kidding. Frazzled moms would give their left tit to continue doing [insert leisure class here] as long as their kid wasn't being beaten while they were away. And, who could blame them? We moms get so little time to ourselves that when we do, we hold onto it with our last dying breath. Not to imply that we don't love our children. We do love them and we can continue to love them but not want to spend every waking moment with them because, sometimes, it's just too much.